A few weeks ago I kissed Zoe good night. A few minutes later, Zoe pointed to her face and said, "Mama, I need more kisses because these kisses are melting..."

When I ask her how she slept she says, "In the long day," and "In two minutes." Sometimes she says "In ten minutes" instead of two minutes.

In late October 2009 I had a dream I was pregnant. I hadn't even missed my period. A few weeks later (early November), I took a pregnancy test at 2am. It was positive. Zoe woke up when I came back to bed. She was the first person I told, "You're going to be a big sister."

"No! I'm the baby!" she said. Since that time, mom bought her some books about being a big sister and now those are her favorite ones to read. She says, "I'm a big sister!" now all the time. I'm due on July 11th. This Friday I finally have my ultrasound to find out if I'm having a boy or a girl. I've had a few dreams that I'm having a boy. Zoe said we should name the baby Sasha if it's a girl, but she hasn't given me any boy name ideas. I just asked her again, "Do you think I'm having a boy or a girl?"

"A girl" she said. That is most often what she says. She loves to point out letters and try to spell words now. "Medicine, starts with B," she said tonight because she has a cold. Most of the time she gets the first letter right.

She'll be three in April, but she's already wearing a lot of size 4 clothes. She's going to be a great big sister!

Photo: Christmas Eve 2009, by Staci

Words!

A few weeks ago (on Dec. 11th) I was reading in bed and Zoe was still awake. She turned to the cover of the book, pointed to the letter "i" and said the word, i. Next, she turned to page 9, pointed to the number and said, "ni." I asked if she was saying, "nine" and she got really excited and said, "ni" again, over and over. It was very exciting!

I took her upstairs and we looked at one of her books. She pointed to every "o" on the page and said, "ohhhhh." Next she said, "Ca" for car and "boat."

She now says hi and bye and a few other words too. She's been saying, "more" for a while, and of course, "ball" for a long time.

I love asking her to go get things too, she understands everything. She still loves to dance and babbles up a storm all the time. Mom and I say, "a, e, i, o, u and sometimes y" to her and she says, "ahh, oohh, ehhh, ahhh, oohhh, e" it's adorable.

Last night Wedrell (from the SF School) came over to visit. We ran into each other last week and this was the first time he met Zoe. She was jumping in the little jumper for about 20 minutes before she crashed. He couldn't believe her energy. Her laugh is the most wonderful sound in the world. She loves her baby doll so much and carries her all over the house. Zoe now has me feeding the baby doll and reading books to her too.

I can't believe she will be 20 months old on Christmas Eve. I look forward to hearing what words she will say next.

Zoe, almost 1.5 years old (18 months)

I've been negligent about this post. Zoe will be 1.5 on 10/24. Time does fly.

She is running around and says "hot" and "ball" and a bunch of other things that I don't really understand!

The poor girl is sick. I've been sick all month and she's been having high fevers. She is asleep right now, but still wakes up and gives kisses. She loves to give big hugs now and says, "eh" when she wants something. She'll point and go, "eh" or lift her arms for me to pick her up and say, "eh."

I gave her a trim the other day. I couldn't stand her mullet anymore. It was never racking, but at least it's shorter.

Still no word from Ellis. I really think he's out of the picture. I wrote him a letter and I said basically: this is for Zoe, so she will know I tried to do everything in my power to keep a friendly relationship with you. We have not heard from you and I don't have the energy to keep trying, only to get no reply. You have my contact info, you're always welcome in our lives and it's never too late to do the right thing.

The response: more silence. I know, shocking! Recently, I was surprised to get an economic stimulus check from Texas. I was so confused, until I remembered what the child support people told me - as long as he owes back child support (he still does) they will garnish he taxes.

Since mom works so hard to help take care of Zoe, I decided it was time for mom and dad to go to Mexico. I put the check toward a flight for their long deserved vacation! They leave on the 24th and get back on November 7th. I hope they have a wonderful time.

Photo: 17 months old with her fingers through the numbers 9 and 6.

9 steps, by mistake...

Still - it was exciting to see. She's only taken 4 steps at most before.

____

On Thursday, July 10th, Zoe started to walk. This photo was taken a week later.

She walked with her shoulders hunched up -- picture the Michael Jackson - Thriller dance.

Many, many new teeth!

Poor Zoe. I know she has at least one canine and first molar on her upper right and two lower molars as well - ouch!! That has to be really painful and I think all things considered, she's doing really well.

Last Monday at 6:18am I woke up with Zoe throwing up all over me. I gave her a bath, took a shower, changed the sheets and when I went to get her from the crib, she was throwing up all over the crib. The lasted until 10am. She was throwing up about a teaspoon every 5-10 minutes for hours. Finally she slept for about 45 minutes. It was awful and sad. The nurse told me not to feed her for 8 hours after her last throw up which was at 1:30pm. Luckily that evening she seemed to be feeling better. Everybody I know it seems has been getting the stomach flu or food poisoning.

Photo of Zoe and Henry by Elizabeth on 7-2-08

height/weight check

She had a Dr. apt today and was 75% in height and about 7% in weight. Michael (her Dr.) said: so she is still the same as she has always been: tall and slender.

I didn't call Ellis on Father's Day. I called him the next day. I thought I'd try to see him soon, but at the Dr. apt we had an insurance nightmare. Zoe is supposed to be on his insurance, but the stupid child support office didn't verify his coverage and the info they gave me expired in 2/07 - morons! So we had to spend an hour trying to work something out and they even called Ellis and he refused to give his current policy #.

WTF??! He can't be bothered to take 1 minute to pull out his card and give them the #?

-sigh- Love. Compassion. Understanding.

This is the mantra I try to use when dealing with him.

Zoe is doing well.

13 months old

On mom's birthday (May 25th) Zoe had her first grilled cheese sandwich and a cup of milk. She loved it! We were at Johnny Rockets for their veggie burger and we made friends with the couple next to us, their almost 6 year old boy and their 9 month old daughter. It was fun and Zoe loved her grilled cheese. She looks like a little girl now, no longer a baby. She's so grown up!

We've seen Ellis a few times but last night I got frustrated because again, he wouldn't let us come up to his apartment. It's just so rude! I can see how much he loves her though and that is why I keep trying.

Zoe loves to dance. If she hears something she likes she put both arms up in the air and starts to boogie. She still has not taken any steps by herself, but I think she is a little closer to walking. She sometimes stands unsupported.

Photos by Karen.